Fallen

403


There she hung in the cathedral suspended by a rope that seemed to have no end. Kaleb rushed in caressing her bare feet with silent tears flowing down his cheek.

"Do not weep for her boy." A man clad in black appeared from the shadows. He reminded Kaleb of a priest yet in a dark way as he could feel eyes boring into him from behind reflective glasses.

"You did this," Kaleb fumed accusingly.

"Trust me, she wanted it."

"Liar!" The man moved closer, his cane echoing as it hit the ground.

"You knew the little whore little."

"How dare you," the young man move to strike yet was quickly stopped by a blow of cold steel.

"She makes a lovely corpse, doesn't she?" Kaleb struggled to pick himself up. "Anger will get you nowhere." The stranger reached out to her.

"Don't touch her." Ignoring Kaleb he caressed the cold bronze skin of her ankle.

"What brought you here?"

"What?" Kaleb supported himself against a pillar.

"What brought you here to mourn her death?"

"There was a note."

"Which you could have disregarded but you didn't. Why?"

"Love," Kaleb admitted quietly with resignation.

"Of course, what else fills the dreams of the young." He let go of her ankle. "Yet this one was empty. Incapable if you will."

"Who are you?" The man took off his glasses revealing a lack of irises.

"Who I am is of no importance." As a heavy sidedoor creaked open Kaleb looked to see a group of nuns. They worked carefully to remove the hanging girl as the man was already on his way out.

"Her halo was just too heavy," one of the nuns spoke solemnly.

"Pardon," Kaleb asked startling them.

"What...Oh. Young man you really shouldn't be here."

"But I--" The sisters helped him to his feet.

"There is much work to be done if she is ever to be at rest. You've paid your respects, now you must leave." They had already propelled Kaleb towards the entrance. He took one last look at the eternally sleeping girl. "You will see her again," the nun said kindly while nodding to add assurance. He hesitated then nodded back and left the cathedral.

"Much, much work to be done." The nun shook her head in sorrow. "Hurry along sisters, time is of the essence." They all returned to the corpse and went back to making the preparations.

City of Rain

414


Still wet, the knife laid gracefully in her hand. A few ill words were muttered before life was no longer present in the target. Quickly she wiped the void looking liquid off with its owner's clothing and left the scene. This night was no different from any other yet gratitude for the new covering reign high.

Arriving at the compound Jac nonchalantly undressed and headed for the showers. The clothes were taken by an attendant in exchange for a small square of 2D, a type of soap used to erase acts like the one committed. After a quick scrub down Jac slipped into fresh civilian clothes and headed to the front desk.

"Has Kal been around?"

"No, he hasn't been on duty I believe."

"Alright. Thanks."

Walking away the person working the front desk added, "Rest up good. There's word of a big bust tomorrow." A hand was waved in reply; a late night dive offered promises of wine.

Sitting down at one of the tables Jac let the music sink in.

"A glass of Pinot Noir my lady?"

"Not inter-Kal." Kal took a seat handing over one of the glasses of red wine.

"Figured you'd show up eventually Lola."

"Why do you insist on calling me that?"

Taking a sip from his glass he replied, "The aliases just don't do it for me."

"You seem to like yours."

"Well I was lucky." Kal grinned his sly grin; Jac gave him a sour look. "I jest. C'mon Jac, lighten up a bit. We're safe, well as much as we'll ever be, in this place."

"Sure." Jac took a long sip. "Tomorrow there's apparently--"

"A big bust. I know, that's what they always say."

"You've been scarce lately."

"I do have a life outside of this you know. I like to live once and awhile. Speaking of, how's that doll of yours?"

"I'd rather not say."

"Fucked things up again, did ya? You could learn a few things from me you know. Don't let what we do ruin your chance at happiness if that's what you've found." Kal gave the Pinot Noir a whiff. "How long have you've been in Jac?"

"Since I dropped out of mid high."

"Ah yes," Kal took another sip, "you're one of the age-old bloods." Jac winced as she hated the term even though it encompassed the truth. Kal decided to be nice and change the subject. "Looks like it's going to rain again."

"When has it ever not?"

The Job

490


I rushed to the bathroom and quickly washed the blood off my hands. Unfortunately I wasn't quick enough; Blaize stood there in silence. I turned to speak, yet what could be said to justify the act I had committed. She violently shook her hand and walked way leaving me no choice but to follow.

"Love."

"Don't call me that."

"But--" She cut me off.

"This is beyond us. How can you even love when you partake in such maliciousness?"

"It's my job."

"Jackie you've been saying that for weeks but I just can't cope with it anymore." Blaize stood there hugging herself to keep from shaking while refusing to look me in the eye. "This has to stop."

"How?"

"How?" There were tears in those baby blue eyes and I could feel their sting. "I'm sure there is a way Jackie. How can you fucking continue?" I knew there was no answer that would make this right yet what was I to do. I had revealed to Blaize a lot about my job however I couldn't divulge everything. I just stood there helpless. Blaize nodded her head as if I had confirmed something with my lack of an answer. "Well then, let me make things simply. Get out."

"What?" I looked at her not believing those words has just come from her mouth.

"Just leave Jackie. Please." Resigning I nodded calmly and grabbed a few things. "I love you" was the last thing I said before the door closed on me. Placing a hand on the door I made my goodbye and started down the hall.

I wasn't lying when I said I loved her. Blaize was what kept me from becoming completely numb to what I did; she was the one I did it for. It's not like this kind of work made me rich, just enough money to get by but that wasn't the point. I did what I did to protect Blaize and others like her. There was a lot going on in the world that most people could never fathom, and it was my duty, along with a handful of others, to keep it that way.

I had been in the line of work for years then with the addition of Blaize in my life along with the increase of risk hiding was difficult. I ended up telling Blaize that I roughed up drug dealers every once in awhile. She believed me and let it slide as "they were just getting what they deserved." That didn't last for long as the blood just kept getting thicker, yet she remained silent only lightly mentioning something once by referencing Lady Macbeth.

Walking down an alley in the spring rain I hoped that we would be able to patch things. My head wasn't in the clouds though. Truth was I might lose Blaize, but I had to continue taking care of the nightmares that lived below these streets.

Winter's Chill

*Possibly a beginning to something bigger, no? Sorry for the wait. Enjoy.


460


"I feel like my nose is so cold it's about to fall off. No, seriously...it is. See, there it is on the floor. Damn."

"Stop your whining and pick up your nose." As Demetri was huddled over picking up his fallen appendage I had to resist kicking him in the rump.

"And why, pray tell, are we out in the middle of this frozen hell?!"

"Because the fiery one is reservation only."

"I swear I'll never get over your wit. Just wait till something far worse than a nose falls off of you Aiden." His complaining was starting to severely try my patience, and I wondered why I had been stuck with such a soft accomplice.

"Are you done Demetri?" He let out a heavy sigh.

"I guess." When is this guy suppose to be here anyway?"

"Do you ever read the file before a meeting?" Demetri proceeded to shuffle his feet and I knew it wasn't because of the cold.

"Of course. What?"

"Our contact is not male but female and she's already here in a way. Hopefully your idiotic talk hasn't ruined things. Just keep your mouth shut from here out." He opened his mouth to speak but was interrupted.

"And I was starting to find him amusing." Once I caught sight of the beautiful snowy figure I bowed my head.

"My lady." I could feel her hot iciness on my skin and yes, I must admit, I was enchanted.

"No need for bowing though it was a far better response than this one's." She was referring to my cohort who just stood there looking bored.

"You must excuse him, ma--. Sorry but by what would you liked to be called?"

"You, my dear Aiden, may call me Dagmar." I smiled as she was not ashamed to show that she apparently had a file on me as well.

"Well, Dagmar, please excuse Demetri, his manners are rather rusty."

"Hey! That was neither appropriate nor true." Dagmar let out a light chuckle.

"Either way I'm sure both of you are tired from your journey and extremely cold, so how about my place for some refreshing?"

"I'm in," Demetri managed to get out with such enthusiasm that I thought he was going to wet himself. The lady smiled delightfully and I was just happy that she wasn't irritated by his behavior. Offering my arm I asked her to lead to the way.

"I'm afraid that will just make the cold worse for you."

"The cold has little affect on me."

Taking my arm Dagmar replied, "I sure hope that's not true in all cases." Of course Demetri had to interrupt the moment.

"So are we going or not?" Dagmar just smiled and began to escort us to her place.

Over the Line

511

I felt as though the burden of all my sins had been lifted however even though I was elated I wasn't oblivious. Maynard wanted to see me. I had been avoiding him and the clan for almost a month now although that isn't entirely true as one cannot simply avoid the clan. I considered them family yet I couldn't face them after the change that had taken place in my life. No doubt they knew and having to face them couldn't be helped.

I was glad that my lover was out of town for a few days as sneaking out of our apartment would have been difficult not to mention Maynard wouldn't have stood for a rain check. I arrived at the complex a little past ten, it looked empty but I could feel their presence.

"Glad to see you Olivia." The room carried Maynard's thick Russian accent sending lightening down my spine. I kept my head lowered out of custom. Before I knew it Maynard was standing in front of me. "Now love we go back too far for that," he said while lifting my chin.

"Sorry," I whispered.

"No need to be sorry for such a petty thing however..." he let his voice trail. I could feel the others rustling in the shadows. "We've missed you, though apparently our sentiments haven't been returned." When I tried to speak I was immediately hushed by Maynard's hand. "I'd advise you to only speak when I ask a question. Things will go more smoothly then." I just nodded my head. "Seems as though you, Olivia, have found love and have forgotten who your family is in the process. Am I correct?"

"Yes. Well no. I haven't forgotten you." I tried to direct the 'you' towards all who were present.

"Liar!" Maynard shouted with full which sent me flying backwards until I hit a pillar. My spine felt as though it had shattered, my was vision was blurry. "What other reasons could you have for avoiding us?" As he spoke I could feel his hand at my throat.

"I didn't...I didn't think..." I couldn't get my thoughts out.

"Well it's obvious that you certainly didn't think or you would have shared this joy of yours with the rest of us. You owe us that much." He loosened his grip. "Truthfully I could care less about your love life. It's your place here that matters." His pause left me dreading whatever I would be subjected to next. "You, Olivia, were one of my children. Blessed by the very moon you were born beneath." The 'were' struck deep leaving me with nothing to do but cry. "I can't stand the sight of you anymore."

That was the last thing I heard from Maynard followed by his footstep. My vision was coming back yet I closed my eyes as I heard the others begin to move. I had betrayed my family by hiding from them. Now it was time to pay for the new sins I had committed, so I braced myself for their avenging hands.

Losing Sleep

450


So there I was lying in James' bed, still as I could be and staring at the wall. I was so out of it that I didn't even notice him standing at the doorway.

"You know I've been calling your name for about five minutes now. Why didn't you answer?" I could do nothing but stare and smile. He came over and gently touched my face. It was nice to know he was real again; my sense of reality isn't in good shape. "Have you been lying in my bed all this time?"

"For the most part."

"Please tell me you've at least eaten something Maria."

"I can't remember." James sat at the edge of the bed.

"Three days is too long to go without food." My sense of time wasn't so great either.

"Sorry," I muttered.

"I wish you wouldn't mope when I leave. I mean I do have to make money." James had business conferences a few times a month but I still wasn't use to him being gone that long. I should been though since I didn't work. I mean I did what I could around the house but I certainly couldn't be called a housewife.

I sat up which definitely made it apparent that I needed food. I played with the hand that was closest to me.

"You look like hell you know," he said laughing a bit. I just nodded. "Think you're up to taking a shower?"

"I think I can manage." I had a fear of abandonment even though there was no rational reasoning behind it. Life is all about people coming and going but that is exactly what I had an issue with.

James gently kissed me on the forehead and said, "Why don't you go and take a shower while I make something to eat. Just try not to pass out." We both smiled. I hugged James and held him tight before he whispered in my ear, "don't worry I'm not going anywhere. I'll be here when you come out." I let go and headed to the bathroom as James headed to the kitchen.

I took a pretty short shower in comparison to the usual. Mostly I just let the water run over me since I didn't have much strength for a vigorous scrub down. After drying myself off I laid on the bed and closed my eyes.

I guess I was there for awhile because James ended up checking on me.

"Is that a new outfit," he inquired referring to my robe.

"It'll have to do for now." We laughed simultaneously. "Well your food will be ready in about twenty."

Placing my head on his shoulder I said softly "can't wait".

Cell

Two weeks then love will be again,
Four until slumber can be had
But I'm tired of the waiting.
Purgatory finally taking it's toll
As these scars just keep multiplying
Cause there's no escape,
And the music will only make us deaf.
Yet pryomaniac tendencies
Whisper sweet nothings in my ear,
Promising a means to the end
While nourishment only further disgusts.
So as I stand on this ledge
The pavements sings,
A sweet solemn lullaby
And as I plumment
Towards those arms of solace
I always stand to wake,
Broken and weary
In an empty bed.

Confrontation

545


Liam and I arrived fashionably late to The Beat as I had suggested we go for dinner beforehand because it was sure to be a long night. I was wearing one of my sexy black dresses though as I was on a date I decided to be tasteful and not wear anything too revealing. Liam wore a nice dress pant and shirt combo. Mariam was the first to great us.

"And who is this Veronica," she inquired holding out her hand for Liam to kiss; he kissed it instead.

"Mariam, why this is Liam."

Quickly returning her hand to her side Mariam replied, "well I haven't seen him around here before."

"I usually don't hang out in places like this."

"Oh," Mariam looked at him in disgust. Placing a hand on Liam's arm I asked him to get me something to drink.

"What would you like dear?"

"Anything. Surprise me." I knew this would keep him busy for awhile. We kissed before he headed to the bar.

"You're a horrible person." That was nothing newsworthy. "Veronica you certainly could have picked a better toy."

"He's not a toy. I happen to really like him." Mariam looked at me sideways.

"Please tell me you're kidding because Morpheous will definitely not be happy."

"Is he ever? No I'm not kidding. Is it wrong for me to want something different?" I eyed the bar and was thankful for the long line.

"Different? I swear Veronica you've changed lately and not in a good way. This Liam is not one of us and when he finds out you---" My eyes flashed red cutting Mariam off.

"Don't you dare mention that tonight."

"Well I'm sorry dear but if it's not me it will just be someone else. You can't hide who you really are." Mariam took a sip of her champagne."

"I don't plan to."

"Well either way I'm sure that's the least of your worries."

"What are you talking about?"

"Well if Liam was any other toy you could pull it off but because he's different Morpheous will notice."

"And?"

"And he'll be angry. He still has a thing for you Veronica. Technically speaking you still belong to him." I could feel my anger rising.

"I belong to no one Mariam."

"Keep telling yourself that. Oh well look who's back." I saw Liam walking towards us and I softened. Surprisingly he was empty handed.

"All the drinks had odd names and when I tried asking the bartender for a description he blew me off."

"Isn't that interesting." I ignored Mariam's remark.

"It's ok love, I'm not feeling too well anyway."

"Did you want to leave?'

"So soon you two? But you just got here."

"Sorry Mariam but my bed sounds really good right now."

"Well then good night."

"It was nice..." Mariam walked away before Liam could finish his sentence. "To the car my lady," he said grinning while holding out his arm. Smiling I took his arm in mine and we headed to the exit. On the way out I caught Morpheous staring at us from one of the balconies causing me to shiver. "You ok sweetie?"

"Hmm? Oh yes, just fine."

Finding Sanity

519


I watched James carefully as he cleaned my wounds.

"And here I thought you had given me all of your razors"

Smiling a bit, certainly not afraid of what I had done, I replied, "well I always have a backup".

"Don't you trust me Maria?" There was a tinge of hurt in his eyes that triggered the guilt to start flowing.

"Of course James, you know I do, but sometimes I just need to cut. You know how it is."

"I still wish you wouldn't."

"At least I'm not trying to kill myself anymore." I laughed; he didn't. While he began bandaging my arm I kept my mouth shut. James was the Simon to my River though we were definitely beyond a brother-sister relationship and since I wasn't family I felt as though I was an unnecessary burden. Even so there was a light to all of this because James enjoyed taking care of me plus I kept him company, when I wasn't getting under his skin. Though all in all my illness was finally useful for something: keeping someone else sane.

"You're all set." I made myself comfortable on the bathroom counter while James put the first aid kit away.

"So James how was your day?"

"Besides coming home to a bloody mess? Boring." We both laughed and I jumped down from the counter then placed my arms around James' neck.

"Ah James, where would I be without you?"

"Probably dead." I smiled even though he was exactly right. He gently kissed me on the lips then inquired about dinner.

"What about Chinese?"

"If we had money for take-out."

"Aww, please."

"Maria we are low on funds plus we have plenty of food in the kitchen." Taking my hand in his James led me to "our" kitchen so I could see that he wasn't lying. I made myself comfortable on the kitchen counter this time. "You know we do have chairs," he said smiling at me.

"Chairs are boring."

"And yet their purpose is for us to sit in them."

"And yet my purpose isn't to sit in them." James searched the pantry contemplatively.

"So what is your purpose Maria?" This question irked me a little.

"I don't have one. I thought that was clear." James took his head out of the pantry and looked at me solemnly.

"Everyone has a purpose."

"Well I'm not everyone, so I guess I don't fit that category. Which wouldn't be a problem if you had let me die." He came over to where I was sitting and hugged me, tight.

"I care about and love you and believe you have a place in this world, that's what I didn't let you kill yourself. That is why I'm here now." I hugged James so tight as if letting go would allow him to disappear.

We stayed in the embrace for at least five minutes, until I felt it was safe enough to let go.

"So what about stir-fry? I think we have a kit left in the freezer." I smiled and nodded. "Great," he said before heading to the freezer.

Maybe I was wrong, perhaps it was James who kept me sane.

An Ossies World

467


My caregiver did the routine morning check to make sure we had everything for academy before patting us each on the head and rushing us out the door. Unlike most of my siblings I enjoyed academy. They usually just complained how things were easier back in the Low Days with no regard for they were called the Low Days. With the meeting between the Ossies and our race we were shown the intellectual light so to speak. Even though our minds, as humanoids, aren't developed enough to posses as much knowledge as the Ossies I strive to get pretty close.

Getting on the white bus I searched for Julie. Finding her we exchanged a smile before I sat down.

"Hey Alice."

"Salutations Julie." She proceeded to giggle.

"Why do you always say that? That's their word you know."

"No it's not, they just implement it."

"You know it's okay if we're not as smart as they are, the Ossies have already made it clear that we're inferior. So just relax sometimes."

"That's not true. The Ossies are working with us to improve our civilization."

"More like enslaving our civilization." There was an awkward silence between us for awhile as I didn't feel up to arguing with Julie. Even though the Ossies had made it clear that their intent was only to help our race, to progress quickly without destroying ourselves, which is where we were headed in the Low Days, many didn't take well to the change. The Ossie caregiver units especially irked those that were against change.

"Did you do your arithmetic," Julie inquired breaking the silence.

"Affirmative. It was pretty simple." Instead of commenting on my responses she decided to bite the bullet instead.

"Really? I had trouble with number six."

"Well I could help you with that." Julie already had her textbook out and we spent the rest of the ride going step by step through the problem.

When the bush arrived at the academy we all hurriedly shuffled off.

"Hey thanks for the help Alice. See you third period." Julie and I went our separate ways for the morning.

Arriving at my first class of the day I took my seat next to Cameron.

"Morning Alice." Smiling I greeted him back.

"Easy time with your homework I suppose."

"Certainly and I expect the same of you."

"Hah, of course, easy as pie." Cameron pretty much held the same view as I on the Ossies and about striving to reach their level of intelligence. That's one of the reasons I was always joyed to see him.

"How's your caregiver Cam?"

"Well, and yours?"

"Well also." I was going to add something more when our instructor walked in. Quiet was expected once an instructor stepped into the classroom so I saved the thought until later.

A New Stream

507


"But why is the rum gone," JD inquired like a child wondering why the candy had disappeared. We went through this routine at least once a week.

"Because you drank it all at the party last night."

"All of it?"

"Pretty much though you did have some help." Oh was all JD said in reply but I'm sure he had no recollection of anything and was just taking my word for it. JD isn't someone you could call very bright. In all actuality he had the mentality of a child, guess it was due to this that I felt it was my duty to take care of him. I considered him my little brother and the commune was truly the best place for him.

I shook my head and walked away to see if there was anything to eat. The kitchen was empty as everyone was probably still asleep after last nights festivities. It wasn't even noon yet. Finding nothing appetizing I decided to go hang out on the roof and ponder the great ponderables. River put a bit of a damper in those plans.

"Surprise to see you up this early," I said while carefully climbing out of the second story window. "Took a chaser did you." She seemed deep in thought and didn't react to my comment.

"I didn't drink much." Sitting next to her I attempted to follow River's line of sight and ended up finding a squirrel to quell my visual ADD.

"What's up Riv?"

"Nothing, just enjoying the view." Looking at the nearly identical houses I couldn't find satisfaction with this answer.

"Right. What's really going on in that mind of yours?"

"Why are you here Mags?"

"Because there was nothing good to eat in the kitchen."

"No. What made you come to the commune?"

"Well I never really got use to the whole college thing and I didn't like the idea of becoming a corporate yuppie. This seemed like the best place." River still wasn't looking at me.

"Do you really see yourself being here for the rest of your life?" I really didn't want to think about the rest of my life.

"Riv, what's the mouse turning in there?"

"Sometimes it just seems that we're running away from the world, that I'm running away."

"Running away? I just see it as a big 'fuck you' to the mainstream." River lowered her head so I got serious. "Hey, no one's keeping you here Riv. You can go whenever you like and if the world isn't to your liking, the commune will still be here." I paused a moment before adding, "if you want me to go with you, I will." River turned to me smiling.

"What about JD?" I laughed.

"As long as he has rum he'll be fine."

"You're the best Mags."

"I know," I boasted resulting in River hitting me. We both laughed though in the back of my mind I hoped I wouldn't have to leave this place.

A Different Kind of Fruit

381


"I wonder what kind of fruit a 'starberry' is," James pondered out loud.

"It's a fruit native to the third planet in the twelfth galaxy." Sarah rolled her eyes figuring everyone knew this before realizing her mistake. James just laughed.

"twelfth galaxy? There is no such thing. Good answer though." Sarah started humming as she had seen done in the old shows. "Wait. You were serious?"

"Maybe." Sarah picked up her pace. James paused in his step before catching up with her.

"Well what do they taste like?"

"Like starberries." James laughed a little.

"Well do they taste like strawberries?"

"What are strawberries?" A look of confusion came over her face, James mirrored it. "You know that little red fruit, sometimes people dip them in chocolate." He shook his head. "I really don't know you." Sarah stopped walking, looking James in the eye.

"One could easily say that's your own fault. People hardly ever ask the right questions. Knowledge is relative."

"But you've been here five years, as far as I know, and we've been friends for two."

"Time means nothing James. You should know that." He didn't know what to say. "Even if we had only known each other for a year we would still be friends. Time wouldn't change that fact but if you think that whatever new information you know about me will, then I don't know James." What new knowledge had he just acquired? Without having the courage to ask the right questions in order to venture further he had nothing.

"I couldn't imagine us not being friends Sarah."

"You have a pretty limited imagination then." He shook this remark off.

"I mean what- whoever you are, you are still the girl I went to sophomore homecoming with. The girl who has crashed at my house more times than I can remember. And the girl who I stay up with till dawn pouring out my soul to. What I'm trying to say is that no matter what, you will always be my friend, my best friend." Even though Sarah wasn't too keen on physical contact James hugged her anyway.

"They're kind of sweet."

"Huh," James said while letting go."

"Starberries. They're kind of sweet." They both smiled and continued walking.

Times Like These

*I'm trying to get into the hang again with the writing excises and this was my first one in a long time. It's not the best but certainly something.



It was only morning in the technical sense as the clock read A.M. though time didn’t matter much these days. The neon green numbers flashed three and I had two options: stare at the peeling walls as sleep eluded me or try to be of some use to the others. Throwing on my old jacket I left my bunker.

Ending up in the children’s quarters I greeted Tal.

“I thought this was your sleep shift.” I smiled and shrugged.

“It’s difficult to get sleep nowadays.”

“This is true, though your body will get tired eventually.”

“Until then I’ll leave the sleeping to the children.” I looked around at all the slim beds. “How are they?”

“Well all their vitals are stable and the EEG seems good. There hasn’t been a nightmare in days.” Poor things, there isn’t a week that goes by in between nightmares from one or the other and we cherish the peaceful nights. Who wouldn’t be plagued by nightmares in this world. The children are lucky enough to have solely caught glimpses, if anything, of what’s out there yet only a couple were actually spared the aftermath. Tal tried to cover up a yawn.

“Sounds like you need some coffee.” I sure could’ve gone for some.

“I’m fine,” Tall lied while monitoring diagnostics with complete concentration.

“C’mon, you don’t even have to move.” He smiled while looking at me from the corner of his eye.

“Alright, guess I could use a bit of a pickup.”

“You take it black right?”

“Is there any other way?” We both indulged in a laugh. After patting Tal on the back I headed to the kitchen hoping we still had coffee in stock.

I never really liked kids however after all that had happened my parenting instincts kicked in. Guess I’m only nurturing in the wake of tragedy.

Reaching the kitchen I ran into Jen.

“Hey.”

“A late snack Jen?” She laughed melodically.

“If you call coffee a snack.” I grinned.

“It is when everything else is in cans or freeze dried. Can you spare two cups?”

“Of course,” she said while putting down her own cup. I grabbed two mugs out of the drain, Jen poured the coffee. “Where you staking out this time?”

“Nursery.” Jen smiled softly.

“They’re angels in the throes of hell.”

“Yeah…there sure are.” I picked up the mugs. “Well I better get back before Tal falls asleep.”

“Tell him hi for me.” Turning towards the doorway I gave her a nod before leaving.

*****

“Coffee anyone?” Tal was fighting the sleep in his eyes.

“Right on time,” he said as I handed him one of the mugs before taking a sip from the other one. I made a face as Tal began to drink his.

“Oh by the way Jen says hi.”

“What duty is she on?”

“Um...kitchen duty. She’s the one that made the coffee.”

“Well it certainly—“ Tal was cut off by a spike in the EEG. It was coming from Samantha; I could see her twisting in that tiny bed. Tal got the sedatives.

“I’ll do it,” I offered, holding out my hand. He gave me the pill packet.

Filling up a cup with water I head over to Samantha. Placing the cup and packet on the table next to her I knelt at her side. “Sam,” I sang gently wiping the sweat from her brow. “Sam, wake up dear. You’re just having a bad dream.” She woke with a start. “It’s okay dear,” I said while grabbing the pill packet.

“I was…”

“I know sweetie, it’s okay now.”

Once she knew what was happening Sam asked, “Do I have to,” referring to the sedatives.

“Don’t you want to get back to sleep?”

“Not that way.” Samantha thought for a second. “Can we go for a walk Danny?” I gave the idea some consideration. If a walk was going to help her get back to sleep then I’d oblige.

“Certainly.” I took her elfin hand in mine and saw Tal smiling as we headed out of the children’s quarters.

Unfound Benediction

Damnit just say it, I told myself, it was the only way to keep him form walking away for good.

"You intrigued me," I blurted. He stopped so I continued. "That night, at the party, you intrigued me." He smiled cynically.

"You mean the one where you wouldn't talk to me when I spoke to you?" I diverted my eyes and tried to redeem myself.

"It was loud and you made no indication..." He was now standing next to me, towering really, once again wearing a suit jacket with no tie.

"Parties are loud but I'll forgive you." He later added, "I guess". He motioned for me to sit on the concrete step, nonchalantly he joined me. "I was partly there for them, partly there for my own pleasure. More so the latter."

"Them," I questioned like a child.

"The others, your family though they more so own you. You know who they are." This was true, I did know but I wanted confirmation.

"Why did they send you there?"

"As a watchdog, though I highly resent that. To make contact but it apparently wasn't the time."

"Sorry," I knew that it was my fault.

"Well it really wasn't the best setting."

"I was sad when you left."

"I think that was more the beer talking than anything else. Nice costume you had on by the way."

"Thanks." Impetuously I had the urge to put my head on his shoulder however I knew it would be inappropriate.

"Go ahead," he said reading my mind, "your intentions are innocent." So I did, kind of awkwardly at first until he put his arm around me. I suddenly was aware of the chill in the air.

"Who are you? I don't even know your name."

"Well my name isn't really important. Call me Liam, you have a fondness for that one. As far as who I am, I'm a nobody really."

"Like me."

"No you have a purpose Miranda. That is the title your apparent mother gave you right?"

"Yeah..." I said reluctantly though the shock soon dissipated.

"Well Miranda, you have a purpose. Maybe not the most fun but I'm sure you have some idea of what it is."

"Am I important to them?"

"Depends on how you define important. You definitely are an expensive project." Liam laughed slightly, more to himself than to me. "Either way you work with what you got. That's life."

He removed his arm which I took as a signal to remove my head. Liam's hazel eyes shined like gold. "There's a possibility they fucked up kid and unfortunately there are no miracles." That possibility was more of a fact to me. "Sorry." I nodded my head, there was nothing he could do yet I still didn't want Liam to leave.

"Will we-"

"Of course," he cut me off. "I get around." Liam rose gracefully and dusted himself off. "And hey kid. Raising hell doesn't have to be a sacrifice." With that, he disappeared into the night.

Public Phantoms

Tired of lying for a living
Of hiding behind this steel mask
While unseen wounds accumulate
As tribute for a feeble soul
But the show must go on.
Sleep only comes
With insufficient lullabies
In dreamless lands
Where angels refuse to tread
And guardians are too weary
To settle uncertainties.
Pain and cold taking their rightful place
Veiling costs too steep
Behind tokens of solace.

Untitled

*Don't criticize this too much as it's pretty much raw material. No polish this time.

There she sat on her bed, back curled against the numbing concrete. The music was blaring and why not, her roommates did it all the time. This time was hers and she needed it; needed to feel the guitars around her while the door was locked, in her mind. Each moment that passed the noose seemed to get that much tighter. Then there was that little knife glaring beside her, not as rescue though not a friend of the rope. The blade offered release no matter how temporary. However one question remained: was the noose tight enough that release was required?

Alpha

Julie entwined her fingers with Samantha's as the tears began to stain her cheeks. Sam could clearly see that Julie was breaking yet she knew of nothing else to do except be there and keep the foundation.

It had at least been weeks leading up to this moment, the only signs were Julie turning more and more into herself and those intense stares at reality. Samantha had no way to prepare and continued putting this moment off in the distance praying, without God, that Julie would get better however the fair days were just that, fair. There wasn't much keeping Samantha from shattering herself except for her defense of looking at things objectively, although one can only detach themselves from existence for so long before it catches up. This time it came full speed ahead with marred survivors.

Julie turned away forcing Sam to look at her back, her spine seeming so fragile as she tugged at her hand. Samantha searched the universe for the right words to reverse this, to make everything better but everything was cold and black. She resorted to blaming herself then ultimately blaming Julie. Things weren't as bad as she was making it out to be. She was allowing this to happen and if she only fought harder... But Julie had been fighting for so long there just wasn't any willpower left. To be her savior, to preserve Julie, to preserve them if only Samantha could find a way, yet the tunnel seemed closed off.

Julie squeezed Samantha's hand allowing a tear to fall free. Sam waited as the silenced endured. A murmured voice cam from that fragile shell. "This isn't the end." Samantha questioned Julie, not knowing if she had heard correctly for this most certainly was la fin. Julie repeated herself and added, "be safe, love". Her grip loosened and her body curled in the contour of a sow bug. Samantha pulled fleece over the childlike figure and waited, for that was all that was left to be done.

Beyond

*Wrote this awhile ago but just recently did the final touches.

Here I am at the edge of the world because of them. They wouldn't come to me so I have no choice but to go to them. The passing of days and the ticking of minutes became pointless, my path being hidden by their exhausting mind games. I could feel the rotation of this planet every waking moment and even now as I stand at the edge it is giving me motion sickness. All this pointing to the fact that Terra 3 is not my home, though belonging never fit this skin. And the few (the rare) were always destroyed by the "higher" design making it impossible to bear this rock, forcing paranoia into my demeanor. Of course the hiding only made me restless which led to eschewed eccentricity. They ignored my screams that pushed the Richter so here I am, standing at the edge of this desolate bastille. Maybe now they'll hear my fall.

Abstract Semaphore

Swirling hues
Gripping at life,
Baring their story
With human emotions
Trials and tribulations,
Crying out warning
That only go unheard.
Ignored by perceptions
Of beauty and genius
Instead of the wisdom
Pouring forth like fountains.
Showing their tie-dye life source
Thriving in the light
Though breathing in the dark.
Listen to the whispering screams,
Learn the words
And the heed the message
For time is running out
With each passing brushstroke.

Costume Change

Betrayal of those
Who live for the fall
Of the yellow dwarf.
Fabric a palisade
Mind metamorphosis
In a reverse sickness,
Dreadful exposure
Something eschewed.
Music of saturnine sirens
Bring nothing but tears,
Internal mourning for
An accidental massacre.
Bent jigsaw with no role
In this social puzzle.