I want to put you in a see-through box atop my office shelf, that way there will be no surprises. I will feed you through a silver tube and take all the undeserved bounties you receive. A subdivision of identity theft yet I don't want to be you. Do not worry for I take good care of my pets even though you should only be an ant beneath my shoe.

just acting

“I love you Patricia. I have ever since I’ve read your writing. It’s magnificent; you’re magnificent. I know I can’t give you what Jo can. I’m not in college, I don’t have a job or a car but I can give you my utmost devotion.” I gently touched her face. “I can give you a love you’ve never known.” She was weak in the knees and the auditorium was silent. I turned to face my pupils. “That, ladies and gentlemen, is how you do it.” I crossed my arms and began pacing the stage. “Feel free to pull from personal experiences, ad lib if you must but do not stray too much from the original.” I paused in speech and step. “You will have a chance to do that at a later date.” Patricia was still standing there paralyzed. “Class dismissed.” As the students rummaged fro their stuff and chatted about my performance I walked back over to Patricia.

“So what’d you think?”

“Huh,” she said, slowly coming out of her daze.

“My performance. I know I could have done better but it was an improv.” She was finally blinking again.

“There was no true feeling behind that?”

“Of course not. I mean I tried to make it personal with real examples and all but it was just acting sweetheart.”

“Wow. It seemed so real.” I’m guessing I should have told her about what I was going to do beforehand. I just asked her to accompany to my class.

“Well that’s the beauty of theater my dear,” I said in a British accent.

“Yeah…” was the response I got instead of the intended laugh. It seemed that Patricia wanted to say a bit more but all she finally got out was something about lunch. I had a distinct feeling this wasn’t just going to be some lunch between friends.

“Umm…well I kinda had some stuff to do before tomorrow’s class and all.”

“Just lunch. Please.” She gave me the oddest look, well coming from her, so I couldn’t say no.

“Sure, I’m hungry anyway.” I was about to walk away so I could get my stuff but I had to say something first. “You sure you’re okay?” It seemed she had snapped back into reality again but I wasn’t certain.

“Yeah, its just Jo and I have been having problems and I’ve been needing someone to talk to.”

“Why didn’t you just say so Patricia? You know I’m here for you anytime.” I gave her a firm hug.

“Thanks.”

Letting go and holding her at arms length I said, “that’s what I’m here for.” Patricia smiled a little. “Let me go get my stuff so we can chow down and talk of course.”

cafe latte

I decided to go to the new café down the street. Never having a bad cappuccino I figured there couldn’t be any harm. Plus the prices weren’t overly high like Starbucks. Reading Wicked and sipping a French vanilla latte I pondered why the wicked witch of the west was green and since when did green symbolize evil. As my mind was multitasking I caught a glance of someone familiar from the corner of my eye. Looking up from the book, my heart fluttering a bit, I saw that it was Jane. I let out a sigh that it wasn’t Cindy but still diverted my gaze hoping she wouldn’t see me. Unfortunately my skills of invisibility were nonexistent.

“Heeeey,” Jane exclaimed walking up to my table, “fancy seeing you here.”

“Yeah, “ I kept my eyes down. She actually said hi to me earlier during my comp class and I swear she was staring at me the entire time. Now this. She sat down across from me.

“I was really hoping I’d get to talk to you alone.” Jane peered at me, her eyes booring through my book.

“Really,” I asked automatically while wondering when she was going to tell me to look at her. There was a pause of silence and I imagined that she had left. Speaking she ruined that dream.

“Tell me you love me.” This time I put down the book.

“What?”

“I’ve been thinking and you are the only one that truly cared about me. I’m sorry I didn’t realize it before but I do now. I just need to hear those words from you.” I kept my face calm, though I wanted to laugh, and took a sip of my latte.

“I will not lie to you Jane.”

“But I know you do. You can tell me now.”

“I,” her eyes lit up as he waited on bated breath, “I do not love you.” Surprisingly there was a tinge of hurt in her eyes. “You have a boyfriend.” Jane looked away for a moment.

“I know,” she said nonchalantly. I knew where this was heading.

“Let me guess. Either a) you two are having problems or b) you’re tired of him.” She returned her gaze to me.

“It’s not like that.” I took another sip of my latte.

“Really.”

“Well it’s not. I just, I just want something more than what he can give me.”

“I can’t satisfy someone who can’t be pleased.” A look of confusion crossed her face. “Anyway it’s too late. I don’t have feelings for you.”

“But you did for so long.”

“And all that is in the past. Hear me now, I would never go out with you if you asked on bended knee.” Tears swelling up in her eyes Jane walked away and I went back to my book.

the lead

So this was it, I finally made it. Broadway had been my dream ever since I had seen Cats at the age of ten, now it was my turn to shine. This play wasn't anything Andrew Lloyd Weber would write but all the critics loved it anyway. I Dream of Blue Roses, the play was called; innovative the papers said. The plot was about a girl who pines for home, the distant planet of Nibia, especially missing the fields of blue roses. A young man comes along, played by no other than moi, who is awfully tired of life. Learning the young woman's secret they end up helping each other cope with life addressing everyday issues and conveying a message of strength and unity. I'm not a supporter of the latter however it's just acting plus it doesn't matter, I'm the lead.

Oh and I can't forget my co-star, the lead actress Samantha. I mean wow, that alone made dealing with the neurotic director worth it. She as a true red head, well at least she seemed to be. I was always terrible at figuring that stuff out. Samantha was an authentic hourglass; women today defiantly didn't care enough to make themselves as desirable as they did back in the day. I grew up with Betty Page pinups hidden under my bed, betcha don't even remember Betty Page. Fancy that.

Today was opening night and everyone was running around with their heads cut off. I had taken an herbal sedative (it's legal) earlier so I was doing alright. We were all crowding back into the theater after a break from the torturous rehearsal we had jus a few hours before. Samantha caught me backstage, her hair in a tight bun.

"Ready for our big night doll?" She laughed nervously. Before Sam could answer I told her what she needed to hear. Letting down her fiery hair so it would flow on her shoulders I said, "you'll be terrific Samantha. Heh your beauty will probably captivate the audience and they won't hear half of your lines. And just remember I'll be with you all the way." She smiled, the fear fleeting from her eyes.

Sam kissed me on the cheek, "thanks Brian," and went to her dressing room.
A role on Broadway and it wouldn't be long before I would have the leading lady on my arm. Life was finally giving me my reward.