30 January 2006

Confrontation

545


Liam and I arrived fashionably late to The Beat as I had suggested we go for dinner beforehand because it was sure to be a long night. I was wearing one of my sexy black dresses though as I was on a date I decided to be tasteful and not wear anything too revealing. Liam wore a nice dress pant and shirt combo. Mariam was the first to great us.

"And who is this Veronica," she inquired holding out her hand for Liam to kiss; he kissed it instead.

"Mariam, why this is Liam."

Quickly returning her hand to her side Mariam replied, "well I haven't seen him around here before."

"I usually don't hang out in places like this."

"Oh," Mariam looked at him in disgust. Placing a hand on Liam's arm I asked him to get me something to drink.

"What would you like dear?"

"Anything. Surprise me." I knew this would keep him busy for awhile. We kissed before he headed to the bar.

"You're a horrible person." That was nothing newsworthy. "Veronica you certainly could have picked a better toy."

"He's not a toy. I happen to really like him." Mariam looked at me sideways.

"Please tell me you're kidding because Morpheous will definitely not be happy."

"Is he ever? No I'm not kidding. Is it wrong for me to want something different?" I eyed the bar and was thankful for the long line.

"Different? I swear Veronica you've changed lately and not in a good way. This Liam is not one of us and when he finds out you---" My eyes flashed red cutting Mariam off.

"Don't you dare mention that tonight."

"Well I'm sorry dear but if it's not me it will just be someone else. You can't hide who you really are." Mariam took a sip of her champagne."

"I don't plan to."

"Well either way I'm sure that's the least of your worries."

"What are you talking about?"

"Well if Liam was any other toy you could pull it off but because he's different Morpheous will notice."

"And?"

"And he'll be angry. He still has a thing for you Veronica. Technically speaking you still belong to him." I could feel my anger rising.

"I belong to no one Mariam."

"Keep telling yourself that. Oh well look who's back." I saw Liam walking towards us and I softened. Surprisingly he was empty handed.

"All the drinks had odd names and when I tried asking the bartender for a description he blew me off."

"Isn't that interesting." I ignored Mariam's remark.

"It's ok love, I'm not feeling too well anyway."

"Did you want to leave?'

"So soon you two? But you just got here."

"Sorry Mariam but my bed sounds really good right now."

"Well then good night."

"It was nice..." Mariam walked away before Liam could finish his sentence. "To the car my lady," he said grinning while holding out his arm. Smiling I took his arm in mine and we headed to the exit. On the way out I caught Morpheous staring at us from one of the balconies causing me to shiver. "You ok sweetie?"

"Hmm? Oh yes, just fine."

23 January 2006

Finding Sanity

519


I watched James carefully as he cleaned my wounds.

"And here I thought you had given me all of your razors"

Smiling a bit, certainly not afraid of what I had done, I replied, "well I always have a backup".

"Don't you trust me Maria?" There was a tinge of hurt in his eyes that triggered the guilt to start flowing.

"Of course James, you know I do, but sometimes I just need to cut. You know how it is."

"I still wish you wouldn't."

"At least I'm not trying to kill myself anymore." I laughed; he didn't. While he began bandaging my arm I kept my mouth shut. James was the Simon to my River though we were definitely beyond a brother-sister relationship and since I wasn't family I felt as though I was an unnecessary burden. Even so there was a light to all of this because James enjoyed taking care of me plus I kept him company, when I wasn't getting under his skin. Though all in all my illness was finally useful for something: keeping someone else sane.

"You're all set." I made myself comfortable on the bathroom counter while James put the first aid kit away.

"So James how was your day?"

"Besides coming home to a bloody mess? Boring." We both laughed and I jumped down from the counter then placed my arms around James' neck.

"Ah James, where would I be without you?"

"Probably dead." I smiled even though he was exactly right. He gently kissed me on the lips then inquired about dinner.

"What about Chinese?"

"If we had money for take-out."

"Aww, please."

"Maria we are low on funds plus we have plenty of food in the kitchen." Taking my hand in his James led me to "our" kitchen so I could see that he wasn't lying. I made myself comfortable on the kitchen counter this time. "You know we do have chairs," he said smiling at me.

"Chairs are boring."

"And yet their purpose is for us to sit in them."

"And yet my purpose isn't to sit in them." James searched the pantry contemplatively.

"So what is your purpose Maria?" This question irked me a little.

"I don't have one. I thought that was clear." James took his head out of the pantry and looked at me solemnly.

"Everyone has a purpose."

"Well I'm not everyone, so I guess I don't fit that category. Which wouldn't be a problem if you had let me die." He came over to where I was sitting and hugged me, tight.

"I care about and love you and believe you have a place in this world, that's what I didn't let you kill yourself. That is why I'm here now." I hugged James so tight as if letting go would allow him to disappear.

We stayed in the embrace for at least five minutes, until I felt it was safe enough to let go.

"So what about stir-fry? I think we have a kit left in the freezer." I smiled and nodded. "Great," he said before heading to the freezer.

Maybe I was wrong, perhaps it was James who kept me sane.

18 January 2006

An Ossies World

467


My caregiver did the routine morning check to make sure we had everything for academy before patting us each on the head and rushing us out the door. Unlike most of my siblings I enjoyed academy. They usually just complained how things were easier back in the Low Days with no regard for they were called the Low Days. With the meeting between the Ossies and our race we were shown the intellectual light so to speak. Even though our minds, as humanoids, aren't developed enough to posses as much knowledge as the Ossies I strive to get pretty close.

Getting on the white bus I searched for Julie. Finding her we exchanged a smile before I sat down.

"Hey Alice."

"Salutations Julie." She proceeded to giggle.

"Why do you always say that? That's their word you know."

"No it's not, they just implement it."

"You know it's okay if we're not as smart as they are, the Ossies have already made it clear that we're inferior. So just relax sometimes."

"That's not true. The Ossies are working with us to improve our civilization."

"More like enslaving our civilization." There was an awkward silence between us for awhile as I didn't feel up to arguing with Julie. Even though the Ossies had made it clear that their intent was only to help our race, to progress quickly without destroying ourselves, which is where we were headed in the Low Days, many didn't take well to the change. The Ossie caregiver units especially irked those that were against change.

"Did you do your arithmetic," Julie inquired breaking the silence.

"Affirmative. It was pretty simple." Instead of commenting on my responses she decided to bite the bullet instead.

"Really? I had trouble with number six."

"Well I could help you with that." Julie already had her textbook out and we spent the rest of the ride going step by step through the problem.

When the bush arrived at the academy we all hurriedly shuffled off.

"Hey thanks for the help Alice. See you third period." Julie and I went our separate ways for the morning.

Arriving at my first class of the day I took my seat next to Cameron.

"Morning Alice." Smiling I greeted him back.

"Easy time with your homework I suppose."

"Certainly and I expect the same of you."

"Hah, of course, easy as pie." Cameron pretty much held the same view as I on the Ossies and about striving to reach their level of intelligence. That's one of the reasons I was always joyed to see him.

"How's your caregiver Cam?"

"Well, and yours?"

"Well also." I was going to add something more when our instructor walked in. Quiet was expected once an instructor stepped into the classroom so I saved the thought until later.

14 January 2006

A New Stream

507


"But why is the rum gone," JD inquired like a child wondering why the candy had disappeared. We went through this routine at least once a week.

"Because you drank it all at the party last night."

"All of it?"

"Pretty much though you did have some help." Oh was all JD said in reply but I'm sure he had no recollection of anything and was just taking my word for it. JD isn't someone you could call very bright. In all actuality he had the mentality of a child, guess it was due to this that I felt it was my duty to take care of him. I considered him my little brother and the commune was truly the best place for him.

I shook my head and walked away to see if there was anything to eat. The kitchen was empty as everyone was probably still asleep after last nights festivities. It wasn't even noon yet. Finding nothing appetizing I decided to go hang out on the roof and ponder the great ponderables. River put a bit of a damper in those plans.

"Surprise to see you up this early," I said while carefully climbing out of the second story window. "Took a chaser did you." She seemed deep in thought and didn't react to my comment.

"I didn't drink much." Sitting next to her I attempted to follow River's line of sight and ended up finding a squirrel to quell my visual ADD.

"What's up Riv?"

"Nothing, just enjoying the view." Looking at the nearly identical houses I couldn't find satisfaction with this answer.

"Right. What's really going on in that mind of yours?"

"Why are you here Mags?"

"Because there was nothing good to eat in the kitchen."

"No. What made you come to the commune?"

"Well I never really got use to the whole college thing and I didn't like the idea of becoming a corporate yuppie. This seemed like the best place." River still wasn't looking at me.

"Do you really see yourself being here for the rest of your life?" I really didn't want to think about the rest of my life.

"Riv, what's the mouse turning in there?"

"Sometimes it just seems that we're running away from the world, that I'm running away."

"Running away? I just see it as a big 'fuck you' to the mainstream." River lowered her head so I got serious. "Hey, no one's keeping you here Riv. You can go whenever you like and if the world isn't to your liking, the commune will still be here." I paused a moment before adding, "if you want me to go with you, I will." River turned to me smiling.

"What about JD?" I laughed.

"As long as he has rum he'll be fine."

"You're the best Mags."

"I know," I boasted resulting in River hitting me. We both laughed though in the back of my mind I hoped I wouldn't have to leave this place.

12 January 2006

A Different Kind of Fruit

381


"I wonder what kind of fruit a 'starberry' is," James pondered out loud.

"It's a fruit native to the third planet in the twelfth galaxy." Sarah rolled her eyes figuring everyone knew this before realizing her mistake. James just laughed.

"twelfth galaxy? There is no such thing. Good answer though." Sarah started humming as she had seen done in the old shows. "Wait. You were serious?"

"Maybe." Sarah picked up her pace. James paused in his step before catching up with her.

"Well what do they taste like?"

"Like starberries." James laughed a little.

"Well do they taste like strawberries?"

"What are strawberries?" A look of confusion came over her face, James mirrored it. "You know that little red fruit, sometimes people dip them in chocolate." He shook his head. "I really don't know you." Sarah stopped walking, looking James in the eye.

"One could easily say that's your own fault. People hardly ever ask the right questions. Knowledge is relative."

"But you've been here five years, as far as I know, and we've been friends for two."

"Time means nothing James. You should know that." He didn't know what to say. "Even if we had only known each other for a year we would still be friends. Time wouldn't change that fact but if you think that whatever new information you know about me will, then I don't know James." What new knowledge had he just acquired? Without having the courage to ask the right questions in order to venture further he had nothing.

"I couldn't imagine us not being friends Sarah."

"You have a pretty limited imagination then." He shook this remark off.

"I mean what- whoever you are, you are still the girl I went to sophomore homecoming with. The girl who has crashed at my house more times than I can remember. And the girl who I stay up with till dawn pouring out my soul to. What I'm trying to say is that no matter what, you will always be my friend, my best friend." Even though Sarah wasn't too keen on physical contact James hugged her anyway.

"They're kind of sweet."

"Huh," James said while letting go."

"Starberries. They're kind of sweet." They both smiled and continued walking.

08 January 2006

Times Like These

*I'm trying to get into the hang again with the writing excises and this was my first one in a long time. It's not the best but certainly something.



It was only morning in the technical sense as the clock read A.M. though time didn’t matter much these days. The neon green numbers flashed three and I had two options: stare at the peeling walls as sleep eluded me or try to be of some use to the others. Throwing on my old jacket I left my bunker.

Ending up in the children’s quarters I greeted Tal.

“I thought this was your sleep shift.” I smiled and shrugged.

“It’s difficult to get sleep nowadays.”

“This is true, though your body will get tired eventually.”

“Until then I’ll leave the sleeping to the children.” I looked around at all the slim beds. “How are they?”

“Well all their vitals are stable and the EEG seems good. There hasn’t been a nightmare in days.” Poor things, there isn’t a week that goes by in between nightmares from one or the other and we cherish the peaceful nights. Who wouldn’t be plagued by nightmares in this world. The children are lucky enough to have solely caught glimpses, if anything, of what’s out there yet only a couple were actually spared the aftermath. Tal tried to cover up a yawn.

“Sounds like you need some coffee.” I sure could’ve gone for some.

“I’m fine,” Tall lied while monitoring diagnostics with complete concentration.

“C’mon, you don’t even have to move.” He smiled while looking at me from the corner of his eye.

“Alright, guess I could use a bit of a pickup.”

“You take it black right?”

“Is there any other way?” We both indulged in a laugh. After patting Tal on the back I headed to the kitchen hoping we still had coffee in stock.

I never really liked kids however after all that had happened my parenting instincts kicked in. Guess I’m only nurturing in the wake of tragedy.

Reaching the kitchen I ran into Jen.

“Hey.”

“A late snack Jen?” She laughed melodically.

“If you call coffee a snack.” I grinned.

“It is when everything else is in cans or freeze dried. Can you spare two cups?”

“Of course,” she said while putting down her own cup. I grabbed two mugs out of the drain, Jen poured the coffee. “Where you staking out this time?”

“Nursery.” Jen smiled softly.

“They’re angels in the throes of hell.”

“Yeah…there sure are.” I picked up the mugs. “Well I better get back before Tal falls asleep.”

“Tell him hi for me.” Turning towards the doorway I gave her a nod before leaving.

*****

“Coffee anyone?” Tal was fighting the sleep in his eyes.

“Right on time,” he said as I handed him one of the mugs before taking a sip from the other one. I made a face as Tal began to drink his.

“Oh by the way Jen says hi.”

“What duty is she on?”

“Um...kitchen duty. She’s the one that made the coffee.”

“Well it certainly—“ Tal was cut off by a spike in the EEG. It was coming from Samantha; I could see her twisting in that tiny bed. Tal got the sedatives.

“I’ll do it,” I offered, holding out my hand. He gave me the pill packet.

Filling up a cup with water I head over to Samantha. Placing the cup and packet on the table next to her I knelt at her side. “Sam,” I sang gently wiping the sweat from her brow. “Sam, wake up dear. You’re just having a bad dream.” She woke with a start. “It’s okay dear,” I said while grabbing the pill packet.

“I was…”

“I know sweetie, it’s okay now.”

Once she knew what was happening Sam asked, “Do I have to,” referring to the sedatives.

“Don’t you want to get back to sleep?”

“Not that way.” Samantha thought for a second. “Can we go for a walk Danny?” I gave the idea some consideration. If a walk was going to help her get back to sleep then I’d oblige.

“Certainly.” I took her elfin hand in mine and saw Tal smiling as we headed out of the children’s quarters.