No Death Today

*This is my first attempt at using gender neutral pronouns.

349

Xavier remained nonchalantly seated. Zie wore a crimson red zoot suit blazer with snug fitting pinstriped pants. The brim of Xavier’s fedora obscured any sign of zir eyes. The girl was momentarily distracted by the light captured on the gold pocket watch chain that shifted with zir breathing.

“You don’t want me child. Everything I am is fleeting. I am just a figment of the world’s imagination.” She nodded barely registering what was said.

“Gabby loves you.”

“It’s a curse really, but you should know all about that.” Xavier tilted zir head to one side while Elaina stood there puzzled. “Ah but you’re one of the good ones. I can see it in your eyes. Hell you’d love the wind if it’d give you the time of day.” As Xavier was talking zie had placed a long blinding silver revolver onto the table by zir side. “Not that that’s a bad thing.” Xavier’s eyebrow lifted under the hat as zie noticed her fondling the firearm with her eyes. “Don’t get me wrong. It’s good to—” Elaina had dived straight for the gun as Xavier had anticipated but zir reflexes were too quick. Zie grabbed the arm reaching out and pulled it and its owner to zir. Now she was trapped, locked in zir lap and pressed close to Xavier’s body.

“Let me go,” she yelled, struggling to break free but it was futile.

“Nice try darlin’ but you’re gonna have to be faster than that now. How about you just relax right here and let ole Xavier soothe your troubled mind. I hate to disappoint but Death will not be making an early visit.” Xavier leaned in close to Elaina’s ear. The feel of zir hot breath on her face sending chills down her spin. Zie whispered, “It’s not your time child.” At the sound of those words she burst into tears, feeling the whole weight of gravity. “There, there. Let it all out.” Elaina kept up the farce that Xavier still had her restrained against her will, refusing to admit that she was now clinging to zir.

Just Short of Nero

351


He was the ultimate destroyer. A megalomaniac who reveled in the quake, left little untouched and applauded the gods of natural disasters.

“I never imagined he was this evil. Overzealous? Yes, but not a dark and deeply disturbed individual.” She paced the hall frantically.

“Come on now. That’s a melodramatic simplification.”

“That’s not what the people say.”

I rolled my eyes. “The people are prone to exaggeration.”

She finally stopped wearing down the imprinted tile. “Then what would you say?”

“I admit he’s a bit out of control but to call him evil would be unfair. You dined with him just the other day. Can you honestly, with all your being, label him a devil?”

She began pacing again. “Well no but something must be done. The Senate would have him killed if they had their way and he wasn’t so feared. I am at a complete loss.”

I crossed my arms nonchalantly. “He just needs to be exposed to an honorable and true heart. Give him that and his thirst for destruction will wane.”

“I do not follow.”

I took a deep breath to release the agitation. “Love my dear woman, love. He needs a happiness that will cause him to cherish life.”

Rushing to stand a few inches in front of me she grabbed my arm and whispered, “You. You are known to make him happy.” The desperation in her face rattled my core.

I slowly shook my head. “I am by no definition honorable. Besides I am not the one seen by the oracle.”

She exasperated a sigh of defeat and released her grip on me. “Then who?”

“That is all I know. Sorry.” We both froze at the deep bellow of the alpenhorn. She looked at me, the tears hot behind her hazel eyes.

Her voice was small and shaky. “Another public execution. I…I don’t know what to do anymore.” She lowered her head.

Placing a hand upon her I tried to convince her that, “We will make it through this. The empire will make it through this.” Lowering my voice I said to myself, “Somehow.”

Late Night Conversation

This of course was a lot better in my head.
330

I lay with my head on his shoulder breathing in the night air from the slightly rolled down windows. “What’s it like to be in love?”

“Uhhhh…”

I could feel his body tense beneath me so I thoughtfully added, “I’m not asking as a prelude. I’m just curious.” He relaxed scratching his arm.

“Well it’s painful to say the least. Why do you ask?”

“Because I don’t think I’ve ever been in love. Well that’s to say I must not have since people always say that you know if you have. I’m starting to wonder if I’m even capable.”

“Of course you’re capable. And I’m sure you probably have been in love it just didn’t last.”

I wiggled trying to make myself more comfortable. “Oh that’s even better.”

Detecting my sarcasm he asked, “What’s wrong with that?”

“Well if it ever happens again I might as well keep it to myself. What exactly am I suppose to tell a person?” I kept my eyes on night blanketed trees. “I just wanted to tell you that I love you though I wish for you not to return the feeling as it is fleeting. I’m telling you because I’m trying to live each day as though it were my last and that means no regrets, no words unspoken. This love, it will fade but I will always care for you. You see my heart is not worthy to give.”

“That’s a mouthful.” We both indulged in a brief laugh. A few moments of silence passed before either of us spoke again. “Well it’s the truth and that’s all anybody can ask for. I’d rather have that than the promise of forever when you know it can’t be done. Then again you can only chalk up so much to the past.”

I let out a small yawn. “True. Maybe it was fleeting because it wasn’t meant to last.”

“There ya go. Possibly.” Closing my eyes I listened intently as he changed the subject.

Disaster Party

240

My hands firmly cup the molded steel, its cold and ridged shape occupying all my senses. There was no recollection of how I got here or exactly where I was. Then I see the others. I can’t hear their voices but I can feel them shouting. I don’t even remember where I found the gun or how I made it to this point but I am certain it must be fate so I introduce the end of the barrel to my temple and smile. One lone soul steps away from the crowd, towards me, mouthing words of sanity that only come out as buzzing. The trigger feels good, feels right against my finger, like an old friend. After saying a silent prayer of thanks I’m ready for the final darkness and pull.

Nothing. My brain refuses to send the message to my limbs; my finger backs away and becomes paralyzed. Using this moment of bodily mutiny, that lone soul snatches away my false savior. The pressure of gravity becomes too heavy and I shatter, sinking to the floor sobbing and shaking. My senses bombarded by the rustling of others. The touch of a comforting hand scalds on contact, forcing me to pull away. And as my body struggles to fold in on itself, to concentrate the pain, the only thought that runs through my head is a question. Why can’t I melt into the ground and meld with the earth?

Love Conquers All

*written fall of 2007
614


She stood silent biting her lip as he was being looked over.

"So this is the one?" She nodded confirmation to Felipe's statement. He contemplated for a moment before giving his answer. "No."

"No," Janet repeated breaking her silence. "But he should at least be able to see the High Council."

"Why waste their time," Felipe queried before lighting a long, dark cigarette.

"Hey now," the man in question protested. "Shouldn't the love I have for Janet be worth more than me fitting whatever image you had in mind?" Felipe let out a 'ha' that hung in the air on the cigarette smoke exhaled with it. The other man's eyebrows wrinkled in annoyance. He normally wasn't a violent person but Felipe kept hitting all the wrong buttons in so few shots. He kept restrained for Janet.

"Love conquers all eh?" Felipe put his arm around Janet to support himself. This made Janet cringe, a reaction ignored. "Let me tell you about dear, dear Janet." Felipe took a long drag. "This one is damaged. Do you know she can pretty much cry out a small pond? Once she cried so hard that blood rained from her eyes. I had to force her to feed from my very own vein to keep her alive." Felipe took another drag allowing the ash to grow long.

"She doesn't cry as much since she met me. I keep her eyes dry."

"I'm sure that's what she tells you. I can smell the tears fresh on her cheeks. Janet can't lie to us just like you can't lie to us. You love her. Are you willing to spend an eternity with her?"

"That's why I'm here."

Felipe let go of Janet and leaned against a pillar; she inhaled deeply. "Humans can easily say forever when there is a guarantee of death. She cries because she's young, still holding onto her human side. Before Janet turned, despite her age, she had been hurt too many times by the human ideal of love. Easy to say without feeling it, easy to feel without showing it. So many declarations and yet no arms to embrace her." Janet turned her eyes to the ceiling trying to divert her attention. "We may not be warm or hang out with her everyday, but we're there for her when she needs us and we love her. No lies, no embellishments."

"I haven't lied."

"Then why is she crying?" Felipe appeared at Janet's side and wiped away the tears on her cheek before kissing her forehead, leaving the scent of incense to linger there.

"She's crying because of all the things you said."

"She's crying because it's true."

"Tell him the real reason you're crying babe."

Janet tightly hugged herself, closed her eyes and took a deep breath. After a few moments of silence Janet opened her eyes to reveal two pools of blackness. When she turned her gaze to the man that addressed her as babe he shivered. Janet dried her cheeks before speaking.

"Felipe is right." She let out a sigh. "I'm...I'm so tired of the lies. What's the point? What exactly do you gain? I don't even know why I bother."

Felipe stood behind Janet with his hands on her shoulders. "Oh to be young with hundreds of years ahead of you."

The man in question opened his mouth to protest or to say something, anything, but the noir look in her eyes held his tongue.

"Come little one, the High Council still wishes for you to take an audience with them." They both walked towards the shadows. Felipe looked back, sadness in his eyes and resign on his face, before disappearing into the night.