Losing Sleep

450


So there I was lying in James' bed, still as I could be and staring at the wall. I was so out of it that I didn't even notice him standing at the doorway.

"You know I've been calling your name for about five minutes now. Why didn't you answer?" I could do nothing but stare and smile. He came over and gently touched my face. It was nice to know he was real again; my sense of reality isn't in good shape. "Have you been lying in my bed all this time?"

"For the most part."

"Please tell me you've at least eaten something Maria."

"I can't remember." James sat at the edge of the bed.

"Three days is too long to go without food." My sense of time wasn't so great either.

"Sorry," I muttered.

"I wish you wouldn't mope when I leave. I mean I do have to make money." James had business conferences a few times a month but I still wasn't use to him being gone that long. I should been though since I didn't work. I mean I did what I could around the house but I certainly couldn't be called a housewife.

I sat up which definitely made it apparent that I needed food. I played with the hand that was closest to me.

"You look like hell you know," he said laughing a bit. I just nodded. "Think you're up to taking a shower?"

"I think I can manage." I had a fear of abandonment even though there was no rational reasoning behind it. Life is all about people coming and going but that is exactly what I had an issue with.

James gently kissed me on the forehead and said, "Why don't you go and take a shower while I make something to eat. Just try not to pass out." We both smiled. I hugged James and held him tight before he whispered in my ear, "don't worry I'm not going anywhere. I'll be here when you come out." I let go and headed to the bathroom as James headed to the kitchen.

I took a pretty short shower in comparison to the usual. Mostly I just let the water run over me since I didn't have much strength for a vigorous scrub down. After drying myself off I laid on the bed and closed my eyes.

I guess I was there for awhile because James ended up checking on me.

"Is that a new outfit," he inquired referring to my robe.

"It'll have to do for now." We laughed simultaneously. "Well your food will be ready in about twenty."

Placing my head on his shoulder I said softly "can't wait".