The Job

490


I rushed to the bathroom and quickly washed the blood off my hands. Unfortunately I wasn't quick enough; Blaize stood there in silence. I turned to speak, yet what could be said to justify the act I had committed. She violently shook her hand and walked way leaving me no choice but to follow.

"Love."

"Don't call me that."

"But--" She cut me off.

"This is beyond us. How can you even love when you partake in such maliciousness?"

"It's my job."

"Jackie you've been saying that for weeks but I just can't cope with it anymore." Blaize stood there hugging herself to keep from shaking while refusing to look me in the eye. "This has to stop."

"How?"

"How?" There were tears in those baby blue eyes and I could feel their sting. "I'm sure there is a way Jackie. How can you fucking continue?" I knew there was no answer that would make this right yet what was I to do. I had revealed to Blaize a lot about my job however I couldn't divulge everything. I just stood there helpless. Blaize nodded her head as if I had confirmed something with my lack of an answer. "Well then, let me make things simply. Get out."

"What?" I looked at her not believing those words has just come from her mouth.

"Just leave Jackie. Please." Resigning I nodded calmly and grabbed a few things. "I love you" was the last thing I said before the door closed on me. Placing a hand on the door I made my goodbye and started down the hall.

I wasn't lying when I said I loved her. Blaize was what kept me from becoming completely numb to what I did; she was the one I did it for. It's not like this kind of work made me rich, just enough money to get by but that wasn't the point. I did what I did to protect Blaize and others like her. There was a lot going on in the world that most people could never fathom, and it was my duty, along with a handful of others, to keep it that way.

I had been in the line of work for years then with the addition of Blaize in my life along with the increase of risk hiding was difficult. I ended up telling Blaize that I roughed up drug dealers every once in awhile. She believed me and let it slide as "they were just getting what they deserved." That didn't last for long as the blood just kept getting thicker, yet she remained silent only lightly mentioning something once by referencing Lady Macbeth.

Walking down an alley in the spring rain I hoped that we would be able to patch things. My head wasn't in the clouds though. Truth was I might lose Blaize, but I had to continue taking care of the nightmares that lived below these streets.