No Death Today

*This is my first attempt at using gender neutral pronouns.

349

Xavier remained nonchalantly seated. Zie wore a crimson red zoot suit blazer with snug fitting pinstriped pants. The brim of Xavier’s fedora obscured any sign of zir eyes. The girl was momentarily distracted by the light captured on the gold pocket watch chain that shifted with zir breathing.

“You don’t want me child. Everything I am is fleeting. I am just a figment of the world’s imagination.” She nodded barely registering what was said.

“Gabby loves you.”

“It’s a curse really, but you should know all about that.” Xavier tilted zir head to one side while Elaina stood there puzzled. “Ah but you’re one of the good ones. I can see it in your eyes. Hell you’d love the wind if it’d give you the time of day.” As Xavier was talking zie had placed a long blinding silver revolver onto the table by zir side. “Not that that’s a bad thing.” Xavier’s eyebrow lifted under the hat as zie noticed her fondling the firearm with her eyes. “Don’t get me wrong. It’s good to—” Elaina had dived straight for the gun as Xavier had anticipated but zir reflexes were too quick. Zie grabbed the arm reaching out and pulled it and its owner to zir. Now she was trapped, locked in zir lap and pressed close to Xavier’s body.

“Let me go,” she yelled, struggling to break free but it was futile.

“Nice try darlin’ but you’re gonna have to be faster than that now. How about you just relax right here and let ole Xavier soothe your troubled mind. I hate to disappoint but Death will not be making an early visit.” Xavier leaned in close to Elaina’s ear. The feel of zir hot breath on her face sending chills down her spin. Zie whispered, “It’s not your time child.” At the sound of those words she burst into tears, feeling the whole weight of gravity. “There, there. Let it all out.” Elaina kept up the farce that Xavier still had her restrained against her will, refusing to admit that she was now clinging to zir.

Just Short of Nero

351


He was the ultimate destroyer. A megalomaniac who reveled in the quake, left little untouched and applauded the gods of natural disasters.

“I never imagined he was this evil. Overzealous? Yes, but not a dark and deeply disturbed individual.” She paced the hall frantically.

“Come on now. That’s a melodramatic simplification.”

“That’s not what the people say.”

I rolled my eyes. “The people are prone to exaggeration.”

She finally stopped wearing down the imprinted tile. “Then what would you say?”

“I admit he’s a bit out of control but to call him evil would be unfair. You dined with him just the other day. Can you honestly, with all your being, label him a devil?”

She began pacing again. “Well no but something must be done. The Senate would have him killed if they had their way and he wasn’t so feared. I am at a complete loss.”

I crossed my arms nonchalantly. “He just needs to be exposed to an honorable and true heart. Give him that and his thirst for destruction will wane.”

“I do not follow.”

I took a deep breath to release the agitation. “Love my dear woman, love. He needs a happiness that will cause him to cherish life.”

Rushing to stand a few inches in front of me she grabbed my arm and whispered, “You. You are known to make him happy.” The desperation in her face rattled my core.

I slowly shook my head. “I am by no definition honorable. Besides I am not the one seen by the oracle.”

She exasperated a sigh of defeat and released her grip on me. “Then who?”

“That is all I know. Sorry.” We both froze at the deep bellow of the alpenhorn. She looked at me, the tears hot behind her hazel eyes.

Her voice was small and shaky. “Another public execution. I…I don’t know what to do anymore.” She lowered her head.

Placing a hand upon her I tried to convince her that, “We will make it through this. The empire will make it through this.” Lowering my voice I said to myself, “Somehow.”

Late Night Conversation

This of course was a lot better in my head.
330

I lay with my head on his shoulder breathing in the night air from the slightly rolled down windows. “What’s it like to be in love?”

“Uhhhh…”

I could feel his body tense beneath me so I thoughtfully added, “I’m not asking as a prelude. I’m just curious.” He relaxed scratching his arm.

“Well it’s painful to say the least. Why do you ask?”

“Because I don’t think I’ve ever been in love. Well that’s to say I must not have since people always say that you know if you have. I’m starting to wonder if I’m even capable.”

“Of course you’re capable. And I’m sure you probably have been in love it just didn’t last.”

I wiggled trying to make myself more comfortable. “Oh that’s even better.”

Detecting my sarcasm he asked, “What’s wrong with that?”

“Well if it ever happens again I might as well keep it to myself. What exactly am I suppose to tell a person?” I kept my eyes on night blanketed trees. “I just wanted to tell you that I love you though I wish for you not to return the feeling as it is fleeting. I’m telling you because I’m trying to live each day as though it were my last and that means no regrets, no words unspoken. This love, it will fade but I will always care for you. You see my heart is not worthy to give.”

“That’s a mouthful.” We both indulged in a brief laugh. A few moments of silence passed before either of us spoke again. “Well it’s the truth and that’s all anybody can ask for. I’d rather have that than the promise of forever when you know it can’t be done. Then again you can only chalk up so much to the past.”

I let out a small yawn. “True. Maybe it was fleeting because it wasn’t meant to last.”

“There ya go. Possibly.” Closing my eyes I listened intently as he changed the subject.

Disaster Party

240

My hands firmly cup the molded steel, its cold and ridged shape occupying all my senses. There was no recollection of how I got here or exactly where I was. Then I see the others. I can’t hear their voices but I can feel them shouting. I don’t even remember where I found the gun or how I made it to this point but I am certain it must be fate so I introduce the end of the barrel to my temple and smile. One lone soul steps away from the crowd, towards me, mouthing words of sanity that only come out as buzzing. The trigger feels good, feels right against my finger, like an old friend. After saying a silent prayer of thanks I’m ready for the final darkness and pull.

Nothing. My brain refuses to send the message to my limbs; my finger backs away and becomes paralyzed. Using this moment of bodily mutiny, that lone soul snatches away my false savior. The pressure of gravity becomes too heavy and I shatter, sinking to the floor sobbing and shaking. My senses bombarded by the rustling of others. The touch of a comforting hand scalds on contact, forcing me to pull away. And as my body struggles to fold in on itself, to concentrate the pain, the only thought that runs through my head is a question. Why can’t I melt into the ground and meld with the earth?

Love Conquers All

*written fall of 2007
614


She stood silent biting her lip as he was being looked over.

"So this is the one?" She nodded confirmation to Felipe's statement. He contemplated for a moment before giving his answer. "No."

"No," Janet repeated breaking her silence. "But he should at least be able to see the High Council."

"Why waste their time," Felipe queried before lighting a long, dark cigarette.

"Hey now," the man in question protested. "Shouldn't the love I have for Janet be worth more than me fitting whatever image you had in mind?" Felipe let out a 'ha' that hung in the air on the cigarette smoke exhaled with it. The other man's eyebrows wrinkled in annoyance. He normally wasn't a violent person but Felipe kept hitting all the wrong buttons in so few shots. He kept restrained for Janet.

"Love conquers all eh?" Felipe put his arm around Janet to support himself. This made Janet cringe, a reaction ignored. "Let me tell you about dear, dear Janet." Felipe took a long drag. "This one is damaged. Do you know she can pretty much cry out a small pond? Once she cried so hard that blood rained from her eyes. I had to force her to feed from my very own vein to keep her alive." Felipe took another drag allowing the ash to grow long.

"She doesn't cry as much since she met me. I keep her eyes dry."

"I'm sure that's what she tells you. I can smell the tears fresh on her cheeks. Janet can't lie to us just like you can't lie to us. You love her. Are you willing to spend an eternity with her?"

"That's why I'm here."

Felipe let go of Janet and leaned against a pillar; she inhaled deeply. "Humans can easily say forever when there is a guarantee of death. She cries because she's young, still holding onto her human side. Before Janet turned, despite her age, she had been hurt too many times by the human ideal of love. Easy to say without feeling it, easy to feel without showing it. So many declarations and yet no arms to embrace her." Janet turned her eyes to the ceiling trying to divert her attention. "We may not be warm or hang out with her everyday, but we're there for her when she needs us and we love her. No lies, no embellishments."

"I haven't lied."

"Then why is she crying?" Felipe appeared at Janet's side and wiped away the tears on her cheek before kissing her forehead, leaving the scent of incense to linger there.

"She's crying because of all the things you said."

"She's crying because it's true."

"Tell him the real reason you're crying babe."

Janet tightly hugged herself, closed her eyes and took a deep breath. After a few moments of silence Janet opened her eyes to reveal two pools of blackness. When she turned her gaze to the man that addressed her as babe he shivered. Janet dried her cheeks before speaking.

"Felipe is right." She let out a sigh. "I'm...I'm so tired of the lies. What's the point? What exactly do you gain? I don't even know why I bother."

Felipe stood behind Janet with his hands on her shoulders. "Oh to be young with hundreds of years ahead of you."

The man in question opened his mouth to protest or to say something, anything, but the noir look in her eyes held his tongue.

"Come little one, the High Council still wishes for you to take an audience with them." They both walked towards the shadows. Felipe looked back, sadness in his eyes and resign on his face, before disappearing into the night.

After Twilight

400


He watched her from inside, breathing slow and deep for fear of disturbing her. There she stood in a black dress self modified with metal rings and crimson ribbon. The night was ever so still and begged to be drunk in, she had told him. He didn't laugh, just smiled and let her go.

Quietly he walked onto the balcony and joined the strange girl who only smiled with effort. He didn't think his presence was noticed until she casually laid her head on his shoulder and took his arm. Startled his breathing turned shallow.

"The stars are shining mighty bright," she said softly. As he looked up into the velvet sky he felt the weight of her lighten. Turning his attention back towards their current plane he noticed the sorrow in her hazel eyes.

All he could muster up in reply was, "the mood shines brightly too". The girl turned her gaze towards the ground seeming smaller than before. After a dozen quick heartbeats she propped herself up and sat on the wooden railing with her back to the world.

"I had a most wonderful time these few passing days." She smiled but it was tainted with sadness. They had another day ahead of them before parting so he wondered why so much sorrow tonight.

"So did I. I'm really glad we finally were able to get together."

"It has truly been a delight knowing you." That last statement sounded like a prelude to goodbye and he wasn't going to have it.

"As it has you. I can see us being friends for a very long time." The mysterious sylph only offered a half-hearted nod as if what he spoke was merely a fanciful dream.

Suddenly she locked her eyes with his, pupils dilated resembling two bright ebony pools outlined in sepia. The girl, now seeming otherworldly, parted her lips yet no sound came forth. She once again flashed that sad smile before leaning back, letting gravity take hold. He reached out to catch her, calling out into the night but his reflexes weren't quick enough and her name fell short. Holding his breath he stepped forward curiously fearful to see the aftermath of her disastrous meeting with the earth, only to find the grey grass grass still and undisturbed. His eyes wandered frantically and came upon no sign of the fae. She had been swallowed by the ether.

Talking Out of Turn

286


"Hey," a girl with strawberry blond hair approached me. I nodded in reply. "I wanted to tell you something."

"Oh high schoolers think they know everything."

"What?" Her face wrinkled at my statement.

"I use to be a high schooler thought I knew everything, only to find out I know nothing." I crossed my arms over my chest. "I thought once I graduated I was completely done with the whole high school thing; looks like I was wrong. Oh the greatness of community college, overrun with secondary education know-it-alls." I could see her trying to come up with a reply but I wasn't done. "I could have been like you. Gone straight to college, it was possible or so it seemed. What was the point of staying with the traditional route. The only good thing that came out of that was my first local girlfriend. Well not really, that wasn't much of a relationship."

"You're--" I cut her off.

"Gotta love small towns. Should have known you would have been perturbed by that."

"I have no problem with you being a lesbian."

"I'm not. Bi would be the easiest way to put it but the easiest isn't always the truth."

"Then what's the truth?"

"I love who I love, gender notwithstanding."

"It's hard to believe you love at all." I clenched my heart for effect.

"Oh my heart is breaking." I remembered what had started this tangent in the first place. "What did you want anyway?"

"I wanted to tell you that I understand how you feel." The berated girl walked away leaving me there with my mouth agape, foot in.

"Great," I said under my breath a few moments later before running after her.

A Favor

399

I made my way onto the set and no one dared to stop me. I smiled watching her perform, getting lost in the story. For a moment there I actually believed she was a vampire.

"Cut," the director yelled out. "That'll be all for today people." She and the other actor in the scene exchanged pleasantries and as she was walking away I caught her eye.

"Mel," she exclaimed rushing to greet me. We embraced. "It's so nice to see you."

"You were great up there." My comment made her blush. She took my arm and lead me to her dressing room. A pretty nice sized room considering she was only a guest star.

"Please, have a seat." She leaned up against the counter in front of the mirror.. "How did you even get on the set Mel?" I crossed my legs.

"Oh you know Cynthia, I have my ways." She nodded with a smile on her face that seemed like it would never fade. "The character is quite a change for you, very different from the indie series."

"Oh I know, but it's nice to have the variety."

"Of course. And the passion is still there. You have a great amount of talent Cynthia."

"Mel," she said trying to keep her cheeks from turning red, "you don't have to shower me with compliments. Whatever it is just ask. Is it money? I don't have a lot but I'll give you what I can."

"You are always so sweet to me, even after all these years." I took a deep breath. "It's not money. I need a place to stay for awhile."

"Oh Mel, I'd be honored to have you stay with me."

"It's just for a short time. I promise I won't overstay my welcome." Cynthia warmly placed her hands over mine.

"You could never do that. Your presence is always welcomed." Now it was my turn to blush.

"Well in that case when do I move in?" We both laughed then Cynthia embraced me in such a way, it was as though she was checking to make sure I was really here.

Finally letting go she said, "Let me go change and then I'll take you out to lunch." Before disappearing behind a partition she took a long look at me and confessed, "I'm really glad you're here." Oh how i missed that lovely smile of hers.

Coffee and Tea

352

I sat down at a table with a window seat and sipped my chai tea. Opening my book I began reading where I left off. Fifteen minutes after the time we agreed on she arrived.

"Hey," she said while sitting down with a cappuccino.

"Hello Barb. You're late." She smiled slyly before taking a sip of her drink.

"Well you know, I"m terrible when it comes to time." Finishing the page I was on I took note of the number then closed the book. "So what have you been up to lately Trish?"

"Oh same ole same ole."

"Haha, so nothing eh?" I smiled.

" Yeah, pretty much. I take it you've been busy being a hassle to society." She leaned back.

"Well I wouldn't say hassle." I raised an eyebrow. "Alright so that was a lie. Can't help it, it's just who I am." I watched a shrewd looking girl with long hair and glasses placing her order. "So how's your love life?"

"You know not to ask that Barb," I replied looking her in the eye.

"Right. Sorry." Then as an afterthought, "I still don't see why not." I straightened my spine.

"Because the last thing we need to do is get all personal."

"Well I don't consider that personal."

"Come on, I don't even talk about my "love life" with my family, amongst other things." Barb looked around at the other customers.

"I get the point. You going tonight? "

"No, I don't think so." She leaned in.

"Aww com on Trish, you really should. Quite a few people would love to see you again." I kept silent. "It's true whether you believe it or not. Plus the place hasn't been quite the same without you." A flash of lightening broke the sky in the corner of my eye.

"I should get going."

Standing up with my tea and book in hand Barb proposed, "well at least think about it." I smiled at her.

"I will." Strolling out of the coffee house I hoped that the rain would at least hold off until I got where I was going.

Warming Light

366


There was a certain feeling you got standing underneath a streetlight. It almost felt like you were a completely different person. To the dull shy girl like me I felt as though life was mine for the taking; I was just waiting for my friends to arrive so we could ride the night wherever it took us.

College wasn't all about books it was highlighted by the random times with a just as random bunch I had met quicker than I had anticipated. We were all quite different really but that's what made our time together better than any influence, though we did reward ourselves with alcohol now and then. Leaving behind high school I now hung out with people who were interesting and caring as well as mature and childish all at the same time. These were the people that made getting off of work that much better. Even though the whole gang couldn't be together all the time there was always someone there. But unlike friends on television we were something different: real.

I remember Marty's 20th birthday when we had a few drinks and spent a night on the town our way. Horsing around the campus square which led to use running into some punks. When they found out it was Marty's birthday we were invited to a dive we never even heard of. Now that was a party. Then there was Michelle's shotty lit professor that almost put her over the edge if it wasn't for our de-stressing days. They usually involved overpriced Japanese pop and 80's or old Kung Fu movies or a marathon of some random anime. She ended up passing with a C+. I looked at the time remembering when we all waited for Brian to finish his last exam so we could start our road trip to someplace not too far before heading back home for the rest of break. I still have the star necklace from that trip, along with several polaroids.

As the bus came to a stop I pulled myself from under the streetlight. I paid my toll and all those memories dissolved back into fantasy as I became that dull shy girl once more.

Stopping the Tape

475


I let myself go, falling back so fast time had to slow down. This would be my final fall yet it was time. I waited to embrace the void. Something stopped that from happening, something caught me. I opened my eyes and recognized the hardened hands that were holding my sides. I was at a loss for words and didn't' know whether to be thankful or hate him for interfering.

"Liam," I whispered.

"I'm here Elena," he said in such a voice that things became less fuzzy and my view brightened. Looking up in his charismatic eyes I mouthed a question. The answer was put on hold as he lifted me and carried me in his arms to a couch. Liam left the room yet quickly came back with a glass of ice cold water.

"I wish you wouldn't do this." There was solemnity in his eyes as he gave me the glass. I started to drink not realizing how thirty I was; Liam continued. "Things don't have to end this way Elena. You can make it through this and I'll be here by your side to help, if you let me." Taking one of my hands in his, Liam gave it a gentle kiss.

Liam hadn't been in my life long yet he showered me with compassion at every turn. He seemed to be a true angel though I couldn't bring myself to accept his gratitude. The demons had resurfaced, maybe in a different form but still recognizable. I set the glass down.

"Do you know what I was doing out there?"

"Letting go, in the wrong way. You are a star Elena if only you would let yourself shine." I shook my head. I had already made my decision and was too stubborn to turn back.

"You shouldn't even be here." He smiled.

"Except every time I leave you intentionally draw me back. Trust your heart for once." I laughed slightly. It was true, no matter how much I wanted to get rid of Liam I did enjoy his company. There was just something about him I couldn't shake.

"That's not the way I work."

"Well maybe it should start to be." He gave out a long sigh. "Let me help you find your way again. All is not lost if only you'd realize that." I hadn't notice it before but my eyelids were starting to become laden. Liam held my hand close.

"You silently asked why earlier." I locked my eyes on his, trying desperately to keep them open. "Because I care about you and I don't want to see you give it all up." Liam released my hand placing it gently by my side. "You're weak right now so get some rest. I'll be here when you awake. I smiled letting my eyes shut. Where had this guy come from anyway?

Less Than Kings

*Didn't quite turn out the way I wanted it but here goes anyway.

505


"Why have you placed this burden upon me?"

"My dear girl I only opened the door. This is who you are, I had nothing to do with it." I sighed not seeing the greatness of being the creature he described. I was already having trouble dealing with this life and now it seemed that my paranoia was right: I was doomed from the start. My mentor began rubbing my shoulders. "You hold the world in the palm of your hands. Another genius in the making."

"Sure," I muttered. Growing up my parents had never put pressure on me to be anything in particular, just encouraged me to do my best and be happy. What most parents want for their children. Now I was getting a taste of what my long gone peers had to deal with. Who doesn't want insight on why they are the way they are yet, when a destiny that seems improbable is tacked on with it ignorance direly wished for.

"I think someone deserves a treat." My eye twitched at the thought.

"Actually I need some fresh air. Time to put all of this together." He patted me on the shoulder.

"Certainly. Would you like some company?"

"No, I need to be alone." I rose and headed for the door.

"Remember your importance," he called after me; I just nodded.

*****

"Took you long enough. I was starting to worry as you called thirty minutes ago."

"Sorry Amber," I said without much feeling.

"Oh dear you look like hell. C'mon in love." I plopped myself down on the comfy couch while Amber disappeared into the kitchen. She came out a few moments later with two martinis. "Dry and three olives, just how you like it," she said while handing one to me.

"Thanks."

"What, no doll? What's gotten you all shaken up?" I downed my martini and chewed on an olive. Amber gently placed a hand on my knee. "Talk to me Sam."

"The weight of the world has just been put on my shoulders. I'm suppose to bring 'great things'." I emphasized the quotes with hand gestures.

"And who told you this? That mentor of yours?" I wearily nodded my head. Amber set down her glass. "Just because he has more experience doesn't mean he knows you. Hell I hardly know you and I'm the only one who can get you to open up." She was the only one, she was the only one who would understand. "And if he's trying to pigeonhole you well, I'm sorry but it can't be done." Her face turned softened. "You're one of a kind Sam and you already bring great things even if it's not the kind of kings."

"Thanks doll," I said before giving her a kiss. She smiled.

"That's the Sam I know, and I take it you're wanting another martini." I laughed.

"And you say you hardly know me." She kissed me this time before heading back to the kitchen and I was glad to have her in my life.

Fallen

403


There she hung in the cathedral suspended by a rope that seemed to have no end. Kaleb rushed in caressing her bare feet with silent tears flowing down his cheek.

"Do not weep for her boy." A man clad in black appeared from the shadows. He reminded Kaleb of a priest yet in a dark way as he could feel eyes boring into him from behind reflective glasses.

"You did this," Kaleb fumed accusingly.

"Trust me, she wanted it."

"Liar!" The man moved closer, his cane echoing as it hit the ground.

"You knew the little whore little."

"How dare you," the young man move to strike yet was quickly stopped by a blow of cold steel.

"She makes a lovely corpse, doesn't she?" Kaleb struggled to pick himself up. "Anger will get you nowhere." The stranger reached out to her.

"Don't touch her." Ignoring Kaleb he caressed the cold bronze skin of her ankle.

"What brought you here?"

"What?" Kaleb supported himself against a pillar.

"What brought you here to mourn her death?"

"There was a note."

"Which you could have disregarded but you didn't. Why?"

"Love," Kaleb admitted quietly with resignation.

"Of course, what else fills the dreams of the young." He let go of her ankle. "Yet this one was empty. Incapable if you will."

"Who are you?" The man took off his glasses revealing a lack of irises.

"Who I am is of no importance." As a heavy sidedoor creaked open Kaleb looked to see a group of nuns. They worked carefully to remove the hanging girl as the man was already on his way out.

"Her halo was just too heavy," one of the nuns spoke solemnly.

"Pardon," Kaleb asked startling them.

"What...Oh. Young man you really shouldn't be here."

"But I--" The sisters helped him to his feet.

"There is much work to be done if she is ever to be at rest. You've paid your respects, now you must leave." They had already propelled Kaleb towards the entrance. He took one last look at the eternally sleeping girl. "You will see her again," the nun said kindly while nodding to add assurance. He hesitated then nodded back and left the cathedral.

"Much, much work to be done." The nun shook her head in sorrow. "Hurry along sisters, time is of the essence." They all returned to the corpse and went back to making the preparations.

City of Rain

414


Still wet, the knife laid gracefully in her hand. A few ill words were muttered before life was no longer present in the target. Quickly she wiped the void looking liquid off with its owner's clothing and left the scene. This night was no different from any other yet gratitude for the new covering reign high.

Arriving at the compound Jac nonchalantly undressed and headed for the showers. The clothes were taken by an attendant in exchange for a small square of 2D, a type of soap used to erase acts like the one committed. After a quick scrub down Jac slipped into fresh civilian clothes and headed to the front desk.

"Has Kal been around?"

"No, he hasn't been on duty I believe."

"Alright. Thanks."

Walking away the person working the front desk added, "Rest up good. There's word of a big bust tomorrow." A hand was waved in reply; a late night dive offered promises of wine.

Sitting down at one of the tables Jac let the music sink in.

"A glass of Pinot Noir my lady?"

"Not inter-Kal." Kal took a seat handing over one of the glasses of red wine.

"Figured you'd show up eventually Lola."

"Why do you insist on calling me that?"

Taking a sip from his glass he replied, "The aliases just don't do it for me."

"You seem to like yours."

"Well I was lucky." Kal grinned his sly grin; Jac gave him a sour look. "I jest. C'mon Jac, lighten up a bit. We're safe, well as much as we'll ever be, in this place."

"Sure." Jac took a long sip. "Tomorrow there's apparently--"

"A big bust. I know, that's what they always say."

"You've been scarce lately."

"I do have a life outside of this you know. I like to live once and awhile. Speaking of, how's that doll of yours?"

"I'd rather not say."

"Fucked things up again, did ya? You could learn a few things from me you know. Don't let what we do ruin your chance at happiness if that's what you've found." Kal gave the Pinot Noir a whiff. "How long have you've been in Jac?"

"Since I dropped out of mid high."

"Ah yes," Kal took another sip, "you're one of the age-old bloods." Jac winced as she hated the term even though it encompassed the truth. Kal decided to be nice and change the subject. "Looks like it's going to rain again."

"When has it ever not?"

The Job

490


I rushed to the bathroom and quickly washed the blood off my hands. Unfortunately I wasn't quick enough; Blaize stood there in silence. I turned to speak, yet what could be said to justify the act I had committed. She violently shook her hand and walked way leaving me no choice but to follow.

"Love."

"Don't call me that."

"But--" She cut me off.

"This is beyond us. How can you even love when you partake in such maliciousness?"

"It's my job."

"Jackie you've been saying that for weeks but I just can't cope with it anymore." Blaize stood there hugging herself to keep from shaking while refusing to look me in the eye. "This has to stop."

"How?"

"How?" There were tears in those baby blue eyes and I could feel their sting. "I'm sure there is a way Jackie. How can you fucking continue?" I knew there was no answer that would make this right yet what was I to do. I had revealed to Blaize a lot about my job however I couldn't divulge everything. I just stood there helpless. Blaize nodded her head as if I had confirmed something with my lack of an answer. "Well then, let me make things simply. Get out."

"What?" I looked at her not believing those words has just come from her mouth.

"Just leave Jackie. Please." Resigning I nodded calmly and grabbed a few things. "I love you" was the last thing I said before the door closed on me. Placing a hand on the door I made my goodbye and started down the hall.

I wasn't lying when I said I loved her. Blaize was what kept me from becoming completely numb to what I did; she was the one I did it for. It's not like this kind of work made me rich, just enough money to get by but that wasn't the point. I did what I did to protect Blaize and others like her. There was a lot going on in the world that most people could never fathom, and it was my duty, along with a handful of others, to keep it that way.

I had been in the line of work for years then with the addition of Blaize in my life along with the increase of risk hiding was difficult. I ended up telling Blaize that I roughed up drug dealers every once in awhile. She believed me and let it slide as "they were just getting what they deserved." That didn't last for long as the blood just kept getting thicker, yet she remained silent only lightly mentioning something once by referencing Lady Macbeth.

Walking down an alley in the spring rain I hoped that we would be able to patch things. My head wasn't in the clouds though. Truth was I might lose Blaize, but I had to continue taking care of the nightmares that lived below these streets.

Winter's Chill

*Possibly a beginning to something bigger, no? Sorry for the wait. Enjoy.


460


"I feel like my nose is so cold it's about to fall off. No, seriously...it is. See, there it is on the floor. Damn."

"Stop your whining and pick up your nose." As Demetri was huddled over picking up his fallen appendage I had to resist kicking him in the rump.

"And why, pray tell, are we out in the middle of this frozen hell?!"

"Because the fiery one is reservation only."

"I swear I'll never get over your wit. Just wait till something far worse than a nose falls off of you Aiden." His complaining was starting to severely try my patience, and I wondered why I had been stuck with such a soft accomplice.

"Are you done Demetri?" He let out a heavy sigh.

"I guess." When is this guy suppose to be here anyway?"

"Do you ever read the file before a meeting?" Demetri proceeded to shuffle his feet and I knew it wasn't because of the cold.

"Of course. What?"

"Our contact is not male but female and she's already here in a way. Hopefully your idiotic talk hasn't ruined things. Just keep your mouth shut from here out." He opened his mouth to speak but was interrupted.

"And I was starting to find him amusing." Once I caught sight of the beautiful snowy figure I bowed my head.

"My lady." I could feel her hot iciness on my skin and yes, I must admit, I was enchanted.

"No need for bowing though it was a far better response than this one's." She was referring to my cohort who just stood there looking bored.

"You must excuse him, ma--. Sorry but by what would you liked to be called?"

"You, my dear Aiden, may call me Dagmar." I smiled as she was not ashamed to show that she apparently had a file on me as well.

"Well, Dagmar, please excuse Demetri, his manners are rather rusty."

"Hey! That was neither appropriate nor true." Dagmar let out a light chuckle.

"Either way I'm sure both of you are tired from your journey and extremely cold, so how about my place for some refreshing?"

"I'm in," Demetri managed to get out with such enthusiasm that I thought he was going to wet himself. The lady smiled delightfully and I was just happy that she wasn't irritated by his behavior. Offering my arm I asked her to lead to the way.

"I'm afraid that will just make the cold worse for you."

"The cold has little affect on me."

Taking my arm Dagmar replied, "I sure hope that's not true in all cases." Of course Demetri had to interrupt the moment.

"So are we going or not?" Dagmar just smiled and began to escort us to her place.

Over the Line

511

I felt as though the burden of all my sins had been lifted however even though I was elated I wasn't oblivious. Maynard wanted to see me. I had been avoiding him and the clan for almost a month now although that isn't entirely true as one cannot simply avoid the clan. I considered them family yet I couldn't face them after the change that had taken place in my life. No doubt they knew and having to face them couldn't be helped.

I was glad that my lover was out of town for a few days as sneaking out of our apartment would have been difficult not to mention Maynard wouldn't have stood for a rain check. I arrived at the complex a little past ten, it looked empty but I could feel their presence.

"Glad to see you Olivia." The room carried Maynard's thick Russian accent sending lightening down my spine. I kept my head lowered out of custom. Before I knew it Maynard was standing in front of me. "Now love we go back too far for that," he said while lifting my chin.

"Sorry," I whispered.

"No need to be sorry for such a petty thing however..." he let his voice trail. I could feel the others rustling in the shadows. "We've missed you, though apparently our sentiments haven't been returned." When I tried to speak I was immediately hushed by Maynard's hand. "I'd advise you to only speak when I ask a question. Things will go more smoothly then." I just nodded my head. "Seems as though you, Olivia, have found love and have forgotten who your family is in the process. Am I correct?"

"Yes. Well no. I haven't forgotten you." I tried to direct the 'you' towards all who were present.

"Liar!" Maynard shouted with full which sent me flying backwards until I hit a pillar. My spine felt as though it had shattered, my was vision was blurry. "What other reasons could you have for avoiding us?" As he spoke I could feel his hand at my throat.

"I didn't...I didn't think..." I couldn't get my thoughts out.

"Well it's obvious that you certainly didn't think or you would have shared this joy of yours with the rest of us. You owe us that much." He loosened his grip. "Truthfully I could care less about your love life. It's your place here that matters." His pause left me dreading whatever I would be subjected to next. "You, Olivia, were one of my children. Blessed by the very moon you were born beneath." The 'were' struck deep leaving me with nothing to do but cry. "I can't stand the sight of you anymore."

That was the last thing I heard from Maynard followed by his footstep. My vision was coming back yet I closed my eyes as I heard the others begin to move. I had betrayed my family by hiding from them. Now it was time to pay for the new sins I had committed, so I braced myself for their avenging hands.

Losing Sleep

450


So there I was lying in James' bed, still as I could be and staring at the wall. I was so out of it that I didn't even notice him standing at the doorway.

"You know I've been calling your name for about five minutes now. Why didn't you answer?" I could do nothing but stare and smile. He came over and gently touched my face. It was nice to know he was real again; my sense of reality isn't in good shape. "Have you been lying in my bed all this time?"

"For the most part."

"Please tell me you've at least eaten something Maria."

"I can't remember." James sat at the edge of the bed.

"Three days is too long to go without food." My sense of time wasn't so great either.

"Sorry," I muttered.

"I wish you wouldn't mope when I leave. I mean I do have to make money." James had business conferences a few times a month but I still wasn't use to him being gone that long. I should been though since I didn't work. I mean I did what I could around the house but I certainly couldn't be called a housewife.

I sat up which definitely made it apparent that I needed food. I played with the hand that was closest to me.

"You look like hell you know," he said laughing a bit. I just nodded. "Think you're up to taking a shower?"

"I think I can manage." I had a fear of abandonment even though there was no rational reasoning behind it. Life is all about people coming and going but that is exactly what I had an issue with.

James gently kissed me on the forehead and said, "Why don't you go and take a shower while I make something to eat. Just try not to pass out." We both smiled. I hugged James and held him tight before he whispered in my ear, "don't worry I'm not going anywhere. I'll be here when you come out." I let go and headed to the bathroom as James headed to the kitchen.

I took a pretty short shower in comparison to the usual. Mostly I just let the water run over me since I didn't have much strength for a vigorous scrub down. After drying myself off I laid on the bed and closed my eyes.

I guess I was there for awhile because James ended up checking on me.

"Is that a new outfit," he inquired referring to my robe.

"It'll have to do for now." We laughed simultaneously. "Well your food will be ready in about twenty."

Placing my head on his shoulder I said softly "can't wait".

Cell

Two weeks then love will be again,
Four until slumber can be had
But I'm tired of the waiting.
Purgatory finally taking it's toll
As these scars just keep multiplying
Cause there's no escape,
And the music will only make us deaf.
Yet pryomaniac tendencies
Whisper sweet nothings in my ear,
Promising a means to the end
While nourishment only further disgusts.
So as I stand on this ledge
The pavements sings,
A sweet solemn lullaby
And as I plumment
Towards those arms of solace
I always stand to wake,
Broken and weary
In an empty bed.

Confrontation

545


Liam and I arrived fashionably late to The Beat as I had suggested we go for dinner beforehand because it was sure to be a long night. I was wearing one of my sexy black dresses though as I was on a date I decided to be tasteful and not wear anything too revealing. Liam wore a nice dress pant and shirt combo. Mariam was the first to great us.

"And who is this Veronica," she inquired holding out her hand for Liam to kiss; he kissed it instead.

"Mariam, why this is Liam."

Quickly returning her hand to her side Mariam replied, "well I haven't seen him around here before."

"I usually don't hang out in places like this."

"Oh," Mariam looked at him in disgust. Placing a hand on Liam's arm I asked him to get me something to drink.

"What would you like dear?"

"Anything. Surprise me." I knew this would keep him busy for awhile. We kissed before he headed to the bar.

"You're a horrible person." That was nothing newsworthy. "Veronica you certainly could have picked a better toy."

"He's not a toy. I happen to really like him." Mariam looked at me sideways.

"Please tell me you're kidding because Morpheous will definitely not be happy."

"Is he ever? No I'm not kidding. Is it wrong for me to want something different?" I eyed the bar and was thankful for the long line.

"Different? I swear Veronica you've changed lately and not in a good way. This Liam is not one of us and when he finds out you---" My eyes flashed red cutting Mariam off.

"Don't you dare mention that tonight."

"Well I'm sorry dear but if it's not me it will just be someone else. You can't hide who you really are." Mariam took a sip of her champagne."

"I don't plan to."

"Well either way I'm sure that's the least of your worries."

"What are you talking about?"

"Well if Liam was any other toy you could pull it off but because he's different Morpheous will notice."

"And?"

"And he'll be angry. He still has a thing for you Veronica. Technically speaking you still belong to him." I could feel my anger rising.

"I belong to no one Mariam."

"Keep telling yourself that. Oh well look who's back." I saw Liam walking towards us and I softened. Surprisingly he was empty handed.

"All the drinks had odd names and when I tried asking the bartender for a description he blew me off."

"Isn't that interesting." I ignored Mariam's remark.

"It's ok love, I'm not feeling too well anyway."

"Did you want to leave?'

"So soon you two? But you just got here."

"Sorry Mariam but my bed sounds really good right now."

"Well then good night."

"It was nice..." Mariam walked away before Liam could finish his sentence. "To the car my lady," he said grinning while holding out his arm. Smiling I took his arm in mine and we headed to the exit. On the way out I caught Morpheous staring at us from one of the balconies causing me to shiver. "You ok sweetie?"

"Hmm? Oh yes, just fine."